...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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