I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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