think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
