My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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