I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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