New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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