I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you had me at cake vodka
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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