Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
