he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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