I wish you could order shots online.
he fucked my hip out of place.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
