This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
