My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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