and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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