Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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