Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
