Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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