I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.