i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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