i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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