sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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