i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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