I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You can't motorboat a personality
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize