I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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