Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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