I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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