she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
