if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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