so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
