i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
