That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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