her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
