My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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