Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
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I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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