I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
we're so committed to being not committed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
