It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
