I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
