My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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