Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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