another moral hangover. fuck.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
