im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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