They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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