I'm so fucking centered right now
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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