I'm gonna have a badass scar
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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