OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
