i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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