ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
