Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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