There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
