ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
