When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
