No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
