She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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