Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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