Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
