I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
