I am puke
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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