Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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