Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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