quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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